We all need what I call a Wellbeing Toolkit: some reliable go-tos that keep us on an even keel.
When I was in my twenties, whether I felt stressed, anxious, happy, meh... my go to was always a night out. Having only that one, expensive and unhealthy, option wasn't helpful in the long-term as I just ended up constantly tired, skint and anxious. I needed balance. We all do. You've heard the expression, 'too much of a good thing,' right?
These days, a night out might occasionally still be the answer. But I have discovered other, more sustainable options too (my bank balance, waistline, liver and relationships all heave a collective sigh of relief!) To choose what I'm going to do to make me feel good, I think about what I NEED in that moment and what I CAN do. Yesterday, I really felt a need to move my body and lift some weights. But, being the school holidays and all, the gym wasn't an option. Rather than succumb to frustration and do nothing, allowing resentful feelings to creep in and make me a grumpy mum, I considered, what CAN I do to meet the need? A home workout sufficed and gave me the benefits of those feel-good chemicals I was needing.
Of course, it's not always a workout that's the answer to whatever need I'm feeling. Other things in my own toolkit include reading, walking the dog, listening to podcasts, drawing, painting, meeting up with friends... Sometimes just being at home, watching trash TV or scrolling is the answer. It depends on what need I'm trying to meet. As I said, balance is key.
As adults, we often don't meet our own needs, believing they are not as important as the needs of others. Of course, there are times when we absolutely must put the needs of others above our own. That's adulthood. But if we neglect our own needs to the point we never enjoy ourselves, our stress bucket overflows, affecting everyone!
Is it time to start building your own Wellbeing Toolkit? If so, where do you begin?
Firstly, consider what needs you regularly feel. We all need rest for a start. What else? Social interactions? Alone time? Movement? Intellectual stimulation? A creative outlet? Comfort?...
Once you've identified those needs, try to identify ways in which these needs can be met. Break them down:
ACTIONS: What things do you enjoy DOING that you CAN do regularly?
INTERACTIONS: WHO do you like being around? Can you meet up? Call them? Drop them a message?
Make a note of your ideas. If you find yourself thinking you CAN'T do something you'd like to do, think about why this is. Is there something you can do to remedy that situation? One small step? Sometimes, just identifying that next step is enough to get you moving in the right direction.
Remember, your needs are important too. Meeting those needs, even if it requires taking several small steps first, is vital for your own wellbeing. Everyone needs their own Wellbeing Toolkit - a valuable resource for helping you enjoy your life in full colour.
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